Good Grief !
I remember the FIRST time I experienced grief. My great grandmother passed away I was in the 4th grade. We had to drive to Arkansas and I met relatives I never knew that I had. This was one of my FIRST road trips I'd experienced, I never knew how much my FIRST experience with grief would shape my life until now. From then on, when I would go on road trips, I would get in this mood where I would just stare out the window and look at the trees as we passed them by enjoying nature. On this particular journey, I met and fell in love with my cousins from "Down South" as my family affectionately calls their home. I loved every part of this trip. It was a true celebration.
I recall my grandfathers stoic presence during this time of loosing his mother. He was so business minded and matter of fact. It was new to me. He made sure my mother picked the casket, it was a beautiful white casket with the imagery from the last supper carved on the inside. My mother picked out her hair and other important items. Once we arrived Down South we partied. My uncle known affectionately as "Unc" grilled every single day, I mean we ate so well. My cousins had this huge trampoline and we jumped on it every day and had too much fun !
This was my brief introduction to grief. Little did I know that grief would become a part of my life in a major way as I grew older. I would call this time of my great grandmothers passing "Good Grief" Good because of the way we celebrated, Grief because we would always miss her. Over time as we age, we see friends and some family transition. WE seek solace, comfort, and sometimes answers. There were moments when I was questioning and sought out many answers only to come to a dead end.
More recently I hit a dead end when it came to grief. I was grieving the end of my hopes and dreams of an important element in my life, into grieving another element. I wanted so much to get into that Good Grief that I had experienced in my younger years, but it just wasn't present this time. I knew the GOOD was available for me, but I just couldn't see it. I longed for something or someone to come and save me from this pain I endured. I forgot that God was there with His arms wide open for me, waiting for me to release it all.
Scripture comes to mind at this moment Psalms 34:18 states "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." My sprit was more than crushed, it felt devoured in this season. I want to encourage you, when you feel devoured know that the Lord is near. He NEVER left you, He's all in it. Don't let life's circumstances speak louder then the Life Giver !
Remember to Let Glow and Let God while knowing YOU got this because God's got YOU !